Wedding ceremony traditions

Sample Ceremony Elements and Traditions

What you include in your ceremony is limited only by your imagination. All of these rituals offer opportunities for parents, children, and extended family to participate in the ceremony whether through an active role in the ceremony or giving a reading its meaning. Independent ministers can often help you incorporate these elements into your special day. Here are some sample ceremony elements that you may wish to include or customize:

Unity Candle Ceremony
The unity candle continues to be popular in all its variations. In some, the bride and groom each light the side tapers and use the tapers to light the center candle during the ceremony.

Other versions include the parents. Parents light single tapered candles, which the couple then uses to light the unity candle as a symbol of the two families joining together.

This can incorporate one or both parents, and may include a few spoken words by either the officiant or the parents themselves.

Sand Ceremony
The sand ceremony is especially well-suited for beach and waterfront weddings. Sand representing each family is poured together into a single container to symbolize the blending of the two families. This ceremony also offers choices in the sand colors to create sand art in a bottle or container that retains the
individuality of the couple or their families as they combine to make a single work of art. Some choose shadow boxes, vases, or bottles that can be kept as keepsakes.

If you are looking for ways to include children, a different color sand can be used by each person to show the unification of the blended family. Couples can also choose to have their parents or siblings share in the ceremony to include them in the event.

New Jersey beach weddings also are perfect for the Hawaiian sand ceremony. It is said that the Hawaiians believe the sand below your feet is sacred when you marry on the beach, so the couple scoops some of that sand into a container during the ceremony to keep. The white sugar sand Jersey shore beaches make this an excellent choice for those marrying on the beach.

Wine Ceremony
For this ceremony, the couple pours wine from two separate carafes into a single glass, which they drink from together. Often, the officiant reminds the couple that like the wine, their lives will blend both bitter and sweet together. As with some of the other ceremonies, this one contains symbolism of the two become one. Couples may also choose to pour the wine into separate glasses and intertwine their arms to symbolize their unity and yet their continued independence, as each still drinks from his or her own glass. In New Jersey, many vineyards will allow couples to create a custom wine blend for the ceremony–with smaller bottles of the custom blend given as favors to the attendees.

Rose Ceremony
The rose ceremony also has a variety of forms. In some ceremonies, the bride and groom each give their own mother (or parents) a single rose to symbolize their thanks for all the families have done for them. Others choose to have the bride give a rose to the mother of the groom and the groom give a rose to the mother of the bride, each symbolizing the giving of gifts to welcome the new family members. Many times, these single roses are presented without the parents’ knowledge this will happen to make the gesture feel less staged.

Some couples choose to each give a rose to each other as their first marriage gift. This makes a lovely keepsake if the rose is preserved (whether dried or preserved with silica, which helps maintain the color).

In all of these, there is an opportunity for the couple to tell those present what the roses symbolize, or the tradition can be explained by the officiant or in the program.

Water Ceremony
Like the sand ceremony, the water ceremony has the couple (or members of their families) pour water from separate glasses into a single bowl, vase, or glass. The couple may also share the glass of water, with each drinking from it. Alternatively, colored water can be used to create a new color when combined.

Tea Ceremony
This Chinese tradition is growing popularity because tea can be enjoyed by all. The complex Chinese ritual of serving tea to the groom’s family, beginning with the elders, symbolizes the family’s acceptance of the marriage and the celebration of the new family. While brides traditionally serve their parents at home before the ceremony, a more modern adaptation could include them, as well. The wedding officiant or a family member often explains the ceremony, and a wedding program is the perfect place to include an explanation of the symbolism and history.

Bread Ceremony
The bread ceremony is a tradition that reflects the couple’s willingness to care for each other and their families. In this ritual, the couple tears pieces off a loaf of bread and share with each other. The wedding officiant usually explains the symbolism. Often, they share with family and friends, too. A Polish tradition calls for the parents of the couple to bring salted bread and wine to the newlyweds during the reception to symbolize their hope that the couple will not be hungry (the bread), will overcome obstacles (the salt), and will have a life of joy (the wine).

Hand Ceremony
The hand ceremony calls on the couple to take turns holding each other’s hands palms up while a reading (often by the attendants or the wedding officiant) reminds them that those hands will hold them, care for them, nurture them, wipe away tears, and caress newborns. The wording of the readings can be tailored to your wishes.

Jumping the Broom
This tradition at the end of the ceremony has roots in both Europe and Africa. An African-American tradition that dates back to the slave era when slaves were not allowed to marry, many couples incorporate jumping the broom to show holding on to the African culture. In some West African nations, brooms were waved over the heads of the marrying couple. Charles Dicken’s novel Great Expectations refers to a couple being “married young, over the broomstick,” so this was a concept in England at that time, also. The practice extends also to Wiccans and the Welsh. Keepsake brooms are popular to hang in the new home.

Breaking the Glass
This Jewish tradition is often incorporated into ceremonies that are combining traditions. After the couple is proclaimed married, the groom traditionally steps on a glass. Some couples choose to have both partners step on the glass. This tradition has many possible meanings which we can discuss. The officiant can explain the meaning for guests or it can be included in the wedding program.

The Chuppah
Another Jewish tradition, the chuppah provides a covered canopy for the couple to marry under, a sacred space. Many couples choose to marry under a canopy for religious reasons, or for the strong design element of creating that sacred space. In addition, outdoor ceremonies with a canopy allow for shade for the couple. The design of the chuppah is as individual as the couple and allows for another way to personalize the ceremony.

Irish Wedding Bell
During the ceremony, a bell is rung to symbolize the joy and the vows being taken. This bell is then kept in the home to be rung as a reminder of that joy and those vows during times of disagreement (or whenever someone just wants a kiss!).

Handfasting
Also a Celtic tradition with both Christian and pagan roots, handfasting is a way to may the union tangible. Using a cord (or several cords–there are many variations), the officiant wraps the hands of the couple in a loop that looks like the symbol for infinity and ties the ends–the origin of the phrase “tying the knot” comes from this. While originally used because precious metal bands were only available to the wealthy and anyone could afford a cord, modern couples use the handfasting ritual as another way to show their bond being created. The knotted cord also becomes a keepsake.