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| Unity Candles: A flexible ritual |
Tailored Ceremonies
Rev. Jennifer Ansbach
Wedding Officiant/Ceremony Writer
Wedding Officiant/Ceremony Writer
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(908) 910-5670
Recently I've been talking to brides and grooms who want to add a special ritual to their
ceremony, but they think that because they are not having a "traditional" ceremony it
isn't possible. Not true! Unity candles are versatile, and allow for many possibilities in
how you incorporate them into your ceremony, whether it is an intimate affair with just
your witnesses or a large wedding ceremony attended by lots of family and friends.
In some unity candle ceremonies, mothers light the tapers when they walk down the
aisle during the processional. Other families, because there are complex blended
families, have both sets of parents or significant adults in the couple's lives light them
before the ceremony.
This does not mean, however, that if you are having a small, intimate ceremony you
cannot use a unity candle. The bride and groom can light the tapers at the beginning
of the ceremony, with each candle symbolizing their own friends and families. During
the ceremony, either before or after the vows, the bride and groom can then light the
center pillar from the two tapers, signifying the union of them, their friends, and their
families.
It is a decision for the couple whether to leave their individual tapers lit or to extinguish
them when the center candle is lit--both are acceptable and depend on your individual
choice. Some see leaving the two tapers lit as a symbol that the union of the two
people does not end their individualism, while others extinguish the two tapers to show
that the two flames have become one and cannot be separated.
Whichever you choose, remember that it is best to have a small pillar or votive candle
burning nearby to light all the candles from rather than struggling with a match or
lighter during the ceremony. It is also a good idea to light all the candles before the
service so the lighting goes smoothly during the actual ceremony. Sometimes new
candles resist lighting at first!
ceremony, but they think that because they are not having a "traditional" ceremony it
isn't possible. Not true! Unity candles are versatile, and allow for many possibilities in
how you incorporate them into your ceremony, whether it is an intimate affair with just
your witnesses or a large wedding ceremony attended by lots of family and friends.
In some unity candle ceremonies, mothers light the tapers when they walk down the
aisle during the processional. Other families, because there are complex blended
families, have both sets of parents or significant adults in the couple's lives light them
before the ceremony.
This does not mean, however, that if you are having a small, intimate ceremony you
cannot use a unity candle. The bride and groom can light the tapers at the beginning
of the ceremony, with each candle symbolizing their own friends and families. During
the ceremony, either before or after the vows, the bride and groom can then light the
center pillar from the two tapers, signifying the union of them, their friends, and their
families.
It is a decision for the couple whether to leave their individual tapers lit or to extinguish
them when the center candle is lit--both are acceptable and depend on your individual
choice. Some see leaving the two tapers lit as a symbol that the union of the two
people does not end their individualism, while others extinguish the two tapers to show
that the two flames have become one and cannot be separated.
Whichever you choose, remember that it is best to have a small pillar or votive candle
burning nearby to light all the candles from rather than struggling with a match or
lighter during the ceremony. It is also a good idea to light all the candles before the
service so the lighting goes smoothly during the actual ceremony. Sometimes new
candles resist lighting at first!
(908) 910-5670
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